Just what I wanted for Christmas... a remote controlled rat. It's true.

3:15 PM |

. . .

gotta have someplace to vent I guess. As anyone who reads my blog undoubtedly reads Jenny's, you already know how f-ed we are. I have been flip flopping between complete denial, which means thinking that they will realize the error they're making and undo it, which I am told is simply not going to happen, and then thinking I am one of the safe ones because I can look at my skills and those of the people around me and see just how much better I am, and then I realize that I'm not and that there are actually lots of people who are much better than I am so I am definitely going to get axed. Then I am forced to think about finding a job elsewhere in the company. I put out some feelers and came back pretty much empty, not surprisingly. So, now I have to think about going outside the company and that means getting my act together, resume, portfolio, yadda yadda yadda, which I hate doing and completely suck at and my work is lame and I have to go digging to find stuff I've done since I started working here and try to find stuff worth showing, which there isn't much of, since so much of what I've done here is just little piecemeal bits and pieces that don't really stand on their own much. Crap. Of course, I don't even think there are any decent jobs out there and I don't want to take a major pay cut though I expect its inevitable. Yes, we're happy campers here.

1:12 PM |

. . .

Present but unaccounted for That's me. Yes, I have not been blogging. I got superbusy at work recently and what little time I have for blogging has gone into HannahandherSisters. So, not sure what to tell you.

11:17 AM |

. . .

Lonely and busy how pathetic will that be?

Oh, woe is me. I am already way too freaking busy at work these days and now that Jenny's gone off to pillage and loot Europe, I will have no one to babble to. But probably just as well as I will have my work, Danica's work and now Jenny's work to do.

Yes, you wish you were me.

11:38 PM |

. . .

Be prepared... As many of you already know, I will never agree to be interviewed by a muppet (or Larry King for that matter).But in retrospect, I may need to amend that . . . I think there may be certain muppets I would agree to answer questions from. Miss Piggy is 100% off the list, Kermit, too. Also Big Bird and Snuffy, and Fozzie and most of them actually. But I'd agree to an interview with Elmo, Oscar, Animal or Cookie Monster.

On a related note, Lara and I love to watch Inside the Actors Studio. James Lipton is possibly the worlds greatest suck up but his research and questions are usually excellent and help shed a new light on his subjects. One of my favorite parts of the show are the questions asked of every guest, the Bernard Pivot Questionaire. I've always wanted to note them down and prepare my answers. Thanks to Natalie and Paul for posting them and getting me off the stick and doing it. Here they are...

What is your favorite word?
Absofuckinglutely

What is your least favorite word?
Asshole.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Energy and confidence in whatever... painting, music, conversation, laughter, whatever...

What turns you off?
Frailty, people who are sick all the time, moving from one complaint to the next

What is your favorite curse word?
Mutherrrr- - -fuckerrrrr!, shouted as loudly as possible, by oneself, amidst noise so loud you can barely hear yourself say it

What sound or noise do you love?
It's cheesy and cliche, but the sound of my kids laughing. Any parent knows how simple, pure and delightful it is

What sound or noise do you hate?
Whining

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Oh, there are so many... chef, photographer, filmmaker, highly skilled rockabilly guitar player, printmaker, architect, the list goes on and on...

What profession would you not like to do?
Law, medicine, sales, coalmining

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Oh, it's you. Here are those keys you dropped when getting on the bus, that wallet you thought was stolen, those sunglasses you left on a desk at school, that glove you dropped on the lift, about a hundred solo socks. Yes, you have no need for them now, but we thought you might like to know what happened to them

12:47 AM |

. . .

Warning: Do not read during lunch... The following post is an excerpt, (yes only an excerpt, not even the entire thing) from an email I got this morning. It's really scary and bizarre. You have to really read it and pay attention to the things they're saying. There are at least dozen really memorable quotes in there.If you're interested (for whatever reason, I don't want to know why) I can forward the message. Its too long to post as a single entry. Is there a limit to a blog post length????

11:51 AM |

. . .

Dear Internal Cleansing Inquirer,
A lifestyle that includes taking medications of any kind, eating too much cooked food, processed/refined food, meat, dairy, and poultry causes your body to become congested with mucus. This in turn weakens the function of your digestive system, elimination organs such as the colon, liver and kidneys. Changing your diet to include foods which help cleanse your body and using herbal preparations to speed up the process, create dramatic improvement in your state of health very quickly.
".I came off the Cleanse today and I am SO IMPRESSED! I could not believe the filth and slime that came out! And so MUCH of it! Where does it all come from? Amazing!" S. Ward, Tucson, Arizona
"I went on a colon cleanse a couple of times. And I got just goop out of me that no one can believe that is inside a person. Everyday, a gallon of goop. Rope-like stuff and intestine-like stuff. I was amazed and I would tell my husband and he would be amazed. I wouldn't tell anyone else or they'd of thought me mad! He was working and couldn't spend the time doing what I was doing. I was enjoying it, seeing what the body holds back, holds inside itself". D.L. Lafayette, LA.
"I did both the colon cleanse and the liver-gallbladder cleanse. To my horror I did in fact have worms! After they were gone (that took about a month) I did the liver thing. I had gall stones... huge things!! This program really works. The pain is gone in my arm and back, and I am sleeping through the night. Don't trust MD's. If someone is going to "practice" on me - IT WILL BE ME. Thank you for this site." J.R.
"I just finished doing the 2 week Complete Colon Cleanse Program. I lost 14 pounds and 1 - 1/2" off of my stomach. I feel great! I would like to follow that up now by doing the Liver and Kidney cleanses". A.R. Honesdale, PA.
Disease is an unnatural condition, but it's increasing at an alarming rate!
Due to poor eating habits, it has become increasingly clear that almost every person in this country over six years old is developing serious problems in the intestinal tract, which in later years may contribute to the development of various acute, chronic and degenerative diseases. Such diseases include cancer, heart trouble and diabetes; as well as lack of energy, premature aging, poor eyesight, memory loss, a poor complexion, constipation and wrinkles. It is estimated that over 98% of disease can be contributed directly or indirectly to a compromised digestive tract. As Dr. Bernard Jensen says, "It is the bowel that invariably has to be cared for first before any effective healing can take place."

9:48 AM |

. . .

Mmmmmmm, banana bread . . .

Typed this out for a friend, thought I'd share with everyone.

1/2 stick butter (4 tbsp) softened
1 1/2c sugar

4 ripe bananas, mashed
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 tsp. vanilla ( I like dbl. strength from Penzeys)
1/2c. milk

2 1/2c. flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda

1 c choc. chips (optional but highly recommended)

preheat oven to 350
grease 2 5x9 loaf pans

soften butter in mixing bowl
add sugar gradually and beat until light n fluffy

combine bananas, egg, vanilla and milk in another bowl
add banana mixture to sugar and mix well.

combine flour, salt and soda in yet another bowl, gradually add these dry ingredients to the wet, and beat well.

fold in chips (DON'T FORGET like I often do)

pour into loaf pans

bake 45-50 min. till toothpick inserted comes out clean (may have to do a few times to avoid chips.)

cool 15 min and turn out onto racks. loafs may be slow to release due to chips on bottom of pan

Eat until all gone...

5:14 PM |

. . .

Mmmmmm, yeah, okaaaay. Good luck with that. Yikes.

2:25 PM |

. . .

The real E! True Hollywood Story ??? well, it's not that juicy but since Tina is going to bring the whole thing up, I might as well get my side of the story out, I'm sure the Smartfood guy would have his side, but he's not here to tell it, so tough s*** for him.

This event occured at least 10 years ago, it's all a blur back then so I can't be sure. I was single, not working real hard and I was cycling alot at the time, and intense morning rides (5:30-6:30AM) were common. I rode the same roads, pathways almost everyday. I rode fast, there was rarely anyone on the path at that hour except similarly minded riders and runners. Part of the route took me over a major commuting highway (I-395N, for those of who know the DC area) via a covered walkway, imagine a 100 yard long tube of chain link fencing. Since the walkway was in view of thousands of commuters, there were often banners hung up and occasionally there were people in there holding signs, etc. advertising or whatever to the captive audience of commuters.

So, this one crisp, cool, sunny morning, I come up the ramp and turn the corner and accelerate, head down, working hard, I'm already 45 minutes into the ride, I'm doing about 25mph, fast for a bike in a closed area when I glance up and notice some people up ahead in the tube. They appear to be holding signs or something and sort of 'dancing' around, facing the cars below. I grab my whistle and give it a blast to alert them that I am headed towards them. I'm closing on them fast now. The one guy closest to me slowly turns towards me and I realize that disaster is imminent. The guy is 'wearing' what I can only describe as a 6x8 foot bag of Smartfood popcorn. I thought I was hallucinating for a second but that's all the time I had before I was plunging head first, with almost no braking into the black plastic/mylar/whatever of the bag just to the left of the human inside the bag. I must have pushed/carried/propelled him a good 10 feet before we crashed to the concrete in a heap of bike, sweat and plastic sheeting. It must have looked pretty funny from the highway and the scene in the walkway of the other 'smartfoodies' coming to help but being useless in their outfits was pretty comical. We were both okay, the bike was undamaged but the Smartfood suit was a bit mangled and ripped. The 'bag' was actually full of small bags of popcorn which I am sure helped to cushion the impact.

10:38 AM |

. . .

Too busy and/or too dull either way, it sucks.

I realized I haven't blogged anything in about 2 weeks. I should feel bad or ashamed but I don't. At least not for not blogging. I agreed to work on a project that I thought would be minor and it's turned out to be major. Not unhappy about it, but not at all what I expected. That's the too busy.

The 'too dull' is just the truth. Nothing even going on that actually seems worth blogging about. I suppose that's not entirely true, but it just seems that way.

The only thing going on with me that seems remotely interesting is that the kitchen project has reemerged on our radar screen. I suppose that's an indication that life with twin babies is calming down, we've got enough time to think about something beyond getting to the end of the day. The kitchen project is a major league undertaking and not something that can be discussed briefly. It could easily become all consuming if I let it. Maybe I should.

So far, we've bounced various ideas around ourselves for several weeks. Various neighbors are undertaking similar projects which helps get the fires going under us, the next door neighbors actually break ground within days. I wish I had the right viewpoint to put up a webcam. We met with architect #1 on Friday evening. Nothing earth shattering but a useful meeting. She confirmed some of our ideas, suggested a few new good things but there were some places where she suggested things we immediately rejected and she s***canned some things we suggested. We are meeting with architect #2 in a few weeks. The whole project is a slow burner, nothing needs to happen quickly since we wouldn't even begin until next year, if not the year after. So, you can see why blogging about this will become quickly tiresome.

3:04 PM |

. . .