Somewhere between hypercompetence & homeownership
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Whatever the hell that means.

Tuesday, April 30
Hi Squib! Forgot to mention that I finally got to meet Squibnocket last week. Such fun! I'd neveer met an internet friend before, it was a great first. I guess I had enough lead-in info from reading and Jenny's comments, that it wasn't totally a disconnect from preconceptions. Hannah was along for the ride and she enjoyed meeting Squib, too. We have our fridge mags up and Hannah points at them all the time and shouts "Squib!". I think she likes the name. Squib, of course, made a great impression on H and really played it right. When she's shy, you have to insist on breaking through with a hug and it worked perfect. Thanks, Squib!

For whatever weird reason, I never put a Squib link on my 'friends' list, as she wasn't "my" friend, but Jenny's. Not anymore I suppose. I haven't changed the link yet but I'm gonna. Whaddayalookinat? Ahmworkinonit!


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Not Dead Yet though we felt like we were gettin' close.

(There's actually a website with that URL, but it's not a funny site)

Lara and I have both been seriously ill for the past several days. She started first and whatever it was, she gave it to me. Fortunately, none of the kids got it. Some sort of non-strep tonsillitis sort of thing. Raging fevers, bad bad tonsil swelling, headaches, aches, weak, bad bad bad, And I already have some seriously huge tonsils so any swelling in my throat is major trouble. After 5 days, I wasn't getting any better so I begged for a consult with an ENT but of course, I was probably slowly improving by the time got into his office for him to torture me. I have a really quick, not easily supressed gag reflex and he tested it no less than a half dozen times. Hannah was tapping me on the arm and asking me questions about what he was doing the whole time. Fun.

Anyway, I have finally turned the corner and reentered the land of the living.

Lara's aunt came over from Buffalo on Friday night and spent Saturday with H whcih really saved our butts. We sent a gift to her before she'd made it back home, that's how grateful we were.

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Wednesday, April 17
Anarchy and chaos are still the ruling orders in our house but we are learning to cope. Micio (the cat), on the other hand, is not. He's had some behavior issues (peeing on our bed 3 times so far) that we had to assume were health related. He's such a laid back and easy going cat, we figured any incidents had to be medical in nature. Well, a round of antibiotics, 2 lab test and an X-ray reveal almost nothing. There is some problem, but no cause can be found. The vet thinks it's stress. Can't really argue with that one. Why should the cat be exempt. Kitty doses of Paxil is the suggested treatment if we are up to the task.

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Monday, April 15
and breathe.... What an anti-climax. I went through the wringer about this trip and now it's cancelled.

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Self-conscious? Well, I was the only one to show up in a robe. I think it went over well.

I may be somewhat hypersensitive in this area. One Halloween, I showed up to work in costume and NO ONE else did. I felt like such a leper.


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Goof Alert! Today is 'comfort day'. Sort of like a downscaled jammy day. I wanted to support the idea. I wore my Stegmanns, no socks, fleece pants, and even brought in my very heavy terrycloth robe.

I feel like such a goof.


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Friday, April 12
The irony . . . the irony . . .

After yesterdays 'blog... this morning, a project manager asked me to go on a business trip to an agency next week. I did a similar trip when the babes were about 8 weeks old. I said yes then because the project is huge and I want to be involved. I tenatively agreed this time, and Lara was really miffed. I can't blame her. Clearly, we (as a couple) need to collectively agree on where our goals and priorities are going. A co-worker who has twins told me before Leah and Olivia were born, quote: "someone's career gonna suffer". Sort of a doom and gloom statement I tried to ignore especially since I knew it would be mine, before it was Lara's.

So, today, push came to shove. We ended up discussing, arguing, going round and round all the way through lunch while I was on my cellphone, standing on the porch area of Empire Brewery while my coworkers sat inside, discussing why I was out there, sort of embarrassing.


Ultimately, we struck a compromise, less time away than initially suggested so I can help with the babies, but more inconvenient times for me to travel (and a higher cost to benefit for the company but they can handle it). Another coworker/parent of young 'uns gave me some good advice and a clear perspective which really helped.

Weird, huh?


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Thursday, April 11
Lazy or just plain beat down? In Daniela's comments, she noted that she's been working incredibly long hours lately. I hope she's getting properly compensated for this. Kristen busts her butt at work, too. Lots of others people I know do, too. Way back when, I did it, too. Not anymore. Am I lazy? beat down and old? I like to think not. I prefer to think that I have my priorities right. Not saying that others are wrong, it's just not right for me. Arguably, I 'work' just as hard, I just don't get compensated in the same way. It's not like I really ever imagined that parenting would be so great and rewarding and all that, it's just that it's alot more rewarding than work ever was. Maybe I am not so great at work, so the success was never that tangible or significant. In many ways, I am actually doing my best work, career-wise, now, to boot. If I wasn't married with kids, I'd be able to do more at work, but I wouldn't be here at all, and I would never have been motivated enough to even get here. Not sure that says much for my work ethic or drive or whatever but that wouldn't be far from the truth. Before Lara, I was really just cruising through life.

Whew, where'd that come from. Sorry to get so philosophical but I guess it's late.


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Ewwwwwwww...
slash fiction is basically erotic fan fiction, normally TV series based, pairing off two (er or more I suppose) members of the same sex who don't normally couple for the cameras. From the "/" mark in the middle of "Kirk/Spock" or "K/S" fiction, which is where it all started. ("But Spock," said Kirk, huskily, realising, finally, irrevocably, what his true self had been trying to tell him ever since the beginning of season one, "it's so huge. And it's green." "And it would be logical for you to... touch it, Captain," said Spock.

God, if I had the time to waste, I'd find a better way to waste it. Hell, home taxidermy sounds better than this.


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Goin' South Heard on the radio this morning that Wegmans' announced plans to open 3 new stores, 1 north of Baltimore and 2 in the NoVa area. Nona will flip when we tell her! Do you hear me, DC area residents? Your QoL (Quality of Life) has just increased significantly. Lucky b******s!

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Wednesday, April 10
Apparently, it's worse than I thought. Tim is suggesting that Jenny find some way to make a record of the inane topics of discussion that I bring up. That I bring them up is not the problem for Tim, it's that I have given the topic such thought and energy of opinion that concerns him.

I thought that's what this 'blog was for.

I suppose this makes a good argument for putting more time into the 'blog, as the mental energy was still being expended, just in a different direction. Arguably, the actual discussion is alot more fun, the dialog is more satisfying than merely silently ranting while pounding on the keyboard.


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Monday, April 8
Balm Tina and Jenny have a thing for luxurious skincare products. There's something about the indulgence for oneself that's integral to the idea. Without slinging wild overgeneralizations, it's a girl thing. I have, on occasion, indulged in some personal grooming luxuries, but they're almost always 'shared' with Lara.
Like everything I buy, I have some crazy, lengthy, unwritten series of criteria to consider before actually making a purchase. Recently, I discovered a skincare indulgence that I can get behind without more than a quick consideration: Nivea Aftershave Balm. Perfect. It's basic, indulgent but not extravagant. Unscented, not outrageously expensive and commonly available at the Wegmans. Pathetic perhaps but it works for me.


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Try again at 'blogging. Actually, I am not that busy at work presently, but 'blogging has become something between irrelevant and overwhelming. Got to keep it simple. Will try again. Between the babies at home and the shift in project focus at work, I haven't felt liking being expressive about my thoughts. I hate to admit, but I have even been slack at reading others 'blogs. Not entirely, but not as consistent as I had been.
No more. I will post more frequently, though probably more briefly and more inanely.


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